At the moment it seems all i do is wake up feeling down and then all i do all day is moan moan moan moan. I can't remember the last time i had a proper laugh, the last time i had tears rolling down my face with laughter yet i should be feeling proper happy; no school ever again, college soon, lazy summer and just the thought of moving and starting me whole new life.... but no i'm more miserable now than i've been in agess. I must proper piss people off when i'm always moaning, i know i do cos i piss myself off fully when i look in the mirror and see a sad face all the time, or when i can feel the tears bubbling up i just feel like slapping myself. God i sound so pathetic and i actually sound like some sad overdramatic cow who wants to feel important. It seems like all i ever do is moan and i don't want people to feel that. I just want to be happy again but right now it all seems so hard and unimaginable.
I guess part of my downness is down to the fact my bestest friend is officially leaving the village this week and i've been missing her loads today cos she's just my bestest friend and i don't know what i'll do without her...... its soo unfair. I'm trying to focus on other things, but what other things? I don't get my results until 23rd August so i'm on tenterhooks until then.... waiting and waiting and waiting - its not me, its so not fair i just want them now. Thats why i've nothing to look forward to. Sad life eh? There was a time when i had everything to get up for in a morning but even my social life is crap at the moment so i guess i'll just have to mumble on and get happy again!! Hah good old diaries, i'd be lost without mine.
Mike reid died today - A soap actor AKA as Frank Butcher in eastenders, i admired him and thought he was a brill actor.... RIP Mike Reid

Anyway i guess i should just shut up moaning
xxx