On thursday when i first got my results i was like fully peed off because i thought they were crap even though i have 9 A-C. The reason for my lack of happiness at my results is because without my Media i'd be fucked which kinda makes me feel really thick. Ideally i'd have liked all C's but coming from someone who:
Hates and can't do maths
Hate Science and again can't do it
Hates Geography and again can't do it
Is it any wonder i didn't get all passes?
I got my B in English and my Merit in Media which is all i ever wanted at the end of the day but i'm still not happy and i don't know why.
I've just been thinking about my old english teacher;
On thursday when it was results she was amazing, even more amazing that she is anyway. She was stood with me when i was opening my results when i looked at my B i was like oh is that it and she just said to me "Cloe i've been ecstatic waiting for you to open these results" and then she said "Cloe i wore this specially for you" She has this lovely flowery necklase that i love and always tell her to wear, she wore it for me and i was honoured. She was my favourite teacher - by far, always interested in what i had to say, listening to me, encouraging me. Before the English exam i went and told her i wanted to do foundation she couldn't shout at me cos we were in the crush hall near the other exams but i could tell by her facial expression she was not a happy bunny, because i was her star student and she wanted the best for me. Other teachers said things but my english teacher was always my favourite.
Thinking back to thursday makes me realise how much i miss school, not the routine, nor the place, the many people, so why am i leaving? I want to go to college to explore different people, different situations and stand on my own two feet but i'm all out of my comfort zone. I'm faced with talking to new people and not knowing anyone and that really really excites me but in many ways its a bit scary.
With my results i feel like i've cheated; okay i've got 9 A-C but 7 Of them are from diplomas Media [worth 4] and ict [worth 3] and that makes me feel like i don't deserve the good results because when other people have 9 A-C they have them because they worked for their exams were as i had months to get my coursework altered and to the best it could be. I knowi 'm been really stupid which is nothing new.
Anyway glad i've got all this out now it feels so much better
xxxxxxx